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ARNOLD ELECTED, ENDS BUDGET CRISIS Produces Rewritten Script With Budget Problems Deleted Superficial, CA - (GNS) - Governor-elect Arnold Schlunghanger ended the alarming California budget crisis by producing a rewritten script that no longer includes the budget as part of the storyline. "We do this in Hollywood all the time," Arnold said. "If there's something not working we just get rid of it." Copies of the new script were circulated to the legislature and media. "In the old script, the budget problem is indicated in the first act on page 8, then it's developed into the overriding obstacle during the second act," Arnold said. "But this is an action picture. You can't have the hero firing superweapons at reams of paper. There's no explosions, no blood. So we cut page 8 and we cut pages 33 thru 36 and 41 thru 43 and the eight-page sequence that started on page 73. With that, the second act centers on my fight against the regulators and the whole third act changes into something Californians want." Jay Leno, Arnold's newly appointed press secretary, said this was exactly what Californians expected from Arnold. "After doing all those interviews with stupid people who don't know anything about the history and politics of our country, I knew Arnold could get elected," Leno said. "And I knew the solutions to the problems had to be simple. Here it is, there's not budget crisis. It's no longer in the script," Leno said. When asked about increasing funding to the schools, Arnold hinted that another rewrite is underway. "We'll have that money early in the second act. The script is due in two weeks," he said. |
