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CALIFORNIANS TO DECIDE BETWEEN SEXUAL PREDATOR AND DULL PERSON
Articulate Republican And Third-Party Green Not Viable
 Munich, CA - (GNS)
- Wacky, crazy, cutting edge Californians will go to the polls tomorrow to decide whether a sexual predator who participated in backroom deals with Enron should become governor or a dull governor who is, well, dull, should remain governor.
     Polls indicate the Recall vote to oust Dull Governor Yawn Davis is a toss-up, but that if it passes Sexual Predator Arnold Schlunghanger will become governor.
     Recent revelations about Schlunghanger's sexual predations have galvanized the state with anti-Arnold women condemning the man's anti-social and possibly criminal behavior and pro-Arnold women carrying signs that say "Grope Me, Grope My Daughter!"
     As pundits questioned whether or not news should be published, Gov. Davis spoke to a crowd of Dull Persons For Davis and Dull Persons Against The Recall, arguing that his lack of charisma "helps everyone sleep more safely each night."
     "I will not be groping anyone," Davis said.
     Lost in most of the clamor are revelations that Schlunghanger met with Enron executives to strategize on how best to prevent the state of California from winning a lawsuit and collecting millions of dollars owed to its citizens.
     According to journalist Greg Palast, in an article yet to be published by the L.A. Times, the Federal government was willing to settle California's case against Enron for pennies on the dollar, but the governor would have to sign off. Davis and Bustamante were behind the lawsuit seeking justice and compensation and would never sign off on such a low settlement, so they had to be replaced.
     Also lost in the clamor are Republican Tom McClintock and Green Peter Camejo, who would have emerged from the five-way debate that included Schlunghanger and Huffington as the two most thoughtful and knowledgeable candidates, if the media hadn't focused on the celebrity catfighting between the two foreign-born subtitles-challenged candidates.
     While no one is making firm predictions, most pundits agree Californians rarely choose the dull person, and many blame what they see as a potential Schlunghanger victory on Maria Shriver for hating her father.