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BUSH OFFERS JIANG TRADE: CHINESE GET N. KOREA, U.S. GETS IRAQ
N. Korea, Iraq, Form Line Of Evil, Seek Third Partner For Axis
Gilbert Hurricane
Fictional Times Special Correspondent

Bumfuck, TX - (GNS)
- Meeting in the relaxed atmosphere of his Lazy Student Ranch, chomping bar be que and breathing in the horseshit, President Bush and Chinese Premier Jiang-Jiang discussed what many called "profound trade deals" and others called "whoppers".
     According to sources close to the bar be que, Bush proposed to the Chinese dictator cum ally that China could have North Korea if they would support the U.S. taking possession of Iraq.
     China has always craved possession of North Korea, and has thus far opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq.
     Sources close to the bar be que pit said Jiang-Jiang's initial reaction to the proposal was "inscrutably positive".
     "Hmmm," the Chinese premier reportedly said.
     Absent from the discussion was any talk of the so-called spy-plane incident, or China's human rights record.
     Reports from Iraq and North Korea indicated those two nations are seeking a third nation so they can form an Axis of Evil. They do not consider Iran to be part of their team, sources said.
     "Indonesia and Chechnya are in play," according to one State Department official, an undersecretary in the Tracking Evil Axises Department.
     "If Iraq and North Korea successfully enlist Chechnya, Putin will likely join Bush's plan to assault Iraq. But if China gets North Korea, Putin will want something for Russia," the official said, on the condition that he not be quoted using the word "madness" or "horror".
     Indonesia could be given to Russia as part of the deal, according to the cook at the bar be que.
     Bush aides would not confirm the substance of the talks, but did characterize them as productive, and pronounced the bar be que "tasty".
     Lyndon Johnson and Henry Kissinger could not be reached for comment.