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FLEISCHER SHIPS MANNLICHER-CARCANO RIFLE TO IRAQI REBELS
Press Secretary Confirms Special White House "Regime Change Discount" Cargo Rate
 Washington, D.C. - (GNS)
- Stating "a bullet is cheaper than an armed invasion", Press Secretary Ari Fleischer confirmed today that he had shipped a Mannlicher-Carcano rifle to Iraqi rebels to assist their plans to "execute a regime change."
     Fleischer said he acted on his own and would take full responsibility.
     "If two U.S. Congressman can go over there and say those Iraqis need medicine then I can send them a rifle to do what ought to be done," Fleischer said.
     It is against international law for individuals to send weapons to other countries for the purpose of "regime change".
     "International law does not apply to us when we are right," Fleischer explained.
     When asked by a Dallas Herald reporter about his choice of rifle, Fleischer replied "it's been used successfully in previous assassinations."
     Fleischer also said it was a technology the Iraqis were unfamiliar with, "so they don't have a defense for it."
     Fleischer is from Texas, where only three books are allowed in the classrooms: The Warren Commission Report, The History of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and The Bible.
     "Regime change is the policy," Fleischer said over and over again at his press conference.
     When asked if other countries might find that this action gives them a legimate excuse to attempt assassinating a U.S. president, Fleischer quipped "well for those of you who believe Oliver Stone instead of Justice Warren, President Gerald Ford and Senator Arlen Spector, maybe other countries already have. Maybe it was the Iraqis who killed Kennedy. Hmm?"
     Fleischer confirmed the rifle was sent with a special "regime change" discount.
     "France and Russia may not know what's good for them, but shipping companies do. The sooner we get rid of Hussein, the sooner things will get back to normal, except for the war and terrorism and the economy and stuff," Fleischer said.