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IRAQ ADMITS IT ORDERED ALUMINUM TUBES, NO FRIES Suspicions Rise About Lack Of Interest In Fast Food Atlana, GA - (GNS) - Pentagon officials and officials at the Center For Disease Control (CDC) said Iraq admitted ordering aluminum tubes but did not order fries or any other high calorie side dishes. "We know what the aluminum tubes were for," said General Richard Gear, but the absence of fries or a shake raises questions. "Something sinister may be afoot," CIA Undersecretary of Mum's The Word Sherlock Yoda said. CDC Director George Armstrong Yellowfever said the center had been studying the Iraqi diet for some time. "They are a nation opposed to fast foods," he said. "This may be good for the heart, but not for world trade and American Industry. As long as we can't irradicate disease, our job is to see it applied equally. A nation without a high cholesterol diet rich in fried foods has a military advantage, and we can't allow that," he said. "This may be another reason to attack them, as if we need another reason," Gear said. "No fries? They're heathens," declared Pat Robertson. "Abraham ate fries. So did Moses and Jesus," he said, pointing to the new Burger King James version of the Bible. Pentagon sources confirmed Kurds eat fries. "They used to eat whey, but around they've come," said Yoda. |
