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N.KOREA CRISIS NOT A CRISIS
"It's A Dispute" Says Office of Diplomatic Vocabulary
 Homeland HQ (formerly Washington, D.C. - (GNS)
- While the argument raged on Sunday News & Bloviation TV shows on what to do about North Korea, the White House Office of Diplomatic Vocabulary officially graded the situation as a "Dispute".
     "Disputes are not Crises," explained ODV Undersectretary Webster Roget. "If this were a Crisis, I think all Hell would be breaking loose."
     The distinction between the two words is critical, he said, in understanding what can and cannot be done, and what the media's responsibility is.
     "Under the Rules of Engagement in a Dispute, it is permissible and even desirable to offer aid to the offending or threatening party in an effort to buy their cooperation. In a Crisis, that's a no-no," Roget said.
     "If you offer aid in a Crisis, well, you're vulnerable to a charge of aiding and abetting an enemy, and if that enemy is a card-carrying member of the Axis of Evil, you could be in Big Trouble. But you'd have to talk to the Office of Big Trouble to get more information on that," Roget said.
     The U.S. is currently offering millions in aid to North Korea if they will recant, apologize, and quit their nuclear weapons program "for real, this time," Roget said.
     Roget said the media's responsibility in a Dispute was to "communicate with the public that this is simply a Dispute, not like Iraq, and the public should support anything we do to disfuse this, not like Iraq."
     Iraq, he said, was "a Crisis" and warned any reporting that could be interpreted as aiding and abetting the enemy could be considered Treason.
     "Let me put it this way," he said. "Not only is Sean Penn in trouble, but so is Larry King. I can tell you, as the Undersecretary of the Office of Diplomatic Vocabulary, the President is miffed."