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MONTY PYTHON ARRESTED FOR SPAM
 2-Year Investigation Of "Plague of the Internet" Centers On Cult Figure
 Lundun, Ingland - (GIN)
- English cult figure and notorious recluse Monty Python was arrested yesterday at his house in New Hampshireshire for creation, possession and distribution of worldwide spam.
     "Mr. Python is the singular figure responsible, the kingpin, of Organized Spam in the world," said Inspector Right Jollyo of Scotland Yard.
     Spam is estimated to cost individuals and corporations billions of dollars a year, according the people who study that sort of thing.
     Jollyo said clues were numerous, beginning with a video message sent to his subordinates that featured Python saying the word Spam over and over again.
     The trick, according to Jollyo, was to catch the recluse with the goods.
     Although Jollyo is optimistic about the effect Python's capture will have on worldwide Spam, others are dubious.
     "There is no silver bullet," said Lisa Pollock, the senior director of messaging at Yahoo, the popular Web portal. "There will always be people who can find a way to get around whatever you have in place."
     In the United States, the U.S. Congress is seriously considering legislation to crack down on spam.
     "We beat Iraq, we can beat Spam. We've got the troops, the know-how, the can-do, the gung-ho-- hell, we've got all the hyphens and then some!" declared Sen. Bobble Graham (R.FL).
     Barristers for Mr. Python maintain there is nothing wrong with Spam.
     "It's a legitimate market tool," Terrance Idling declared, nudging those who stood near him.
     Python is somewhat of a cult figure in England, having known the Beatles. Python supporters gathered outside Scotland Yard waving signs that read "I'm a lumberjack and it's okay."
     Investigators said this is part of the Spam code used by Spamists throughout the world.
     This is not Python's first arrest. He was indicted for trafficking in dead parrots 35 years ago.