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STRAWBERRY THEFT SOLVED!
 Missing Duplicate Mess-Room Key Found In Baghdad
 Bush City (formerly Baghdad), Iraq - (GIN)
- US Marines, Navy Seals and CIA operatives, working together behind enemy lines on a highly classified secret mission, solved one of the most enduring mysteries of World War II yesterday.
      "We found the missing duplicate mess-room key," Captain Mel Frair announced. "We know who stole the strawberries."
      US officials had insisted for years that Iraq possessed the mess-room key.
      "Blix looked but he didn't find it so he said they didn't have it," Frair said. "But we found it."
      The finding of the key will exonerate Commander Queeq, Frair said, and restore the former captain of the U.S.S. Caine to the prominent status he deserved.
      "Queeq said all along there was a duplicate key. He proved it at his court martial with scientific logic, but they wouldn't believe him," Frair said.
      Iraqi officials said their soldiers ate strawberries during the war with Iran.