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STATE DEPT: "SYRIA BEHIND 9/11 ATTACKS"
Powell: "Evidence Overwhelming, Convincing, Irrefutable, Undeniable, Devastating, Proof Positive, End Of Story, Period"
 by Michael Adler & Gilbert Hurricane
Homeland H.Q. (formerly Washington D.C.) - (GNS)
- Secretary of State Colin Powell unveiled previously classified documents detailing Syria’s intimate involvement in the 9-11 attacks yesterday. The documents include photos, audio and video tapes, and reams of paper with underlined and highlighted sections of Arabic writing.
      "There you have it," said Powell to a startled audience of reporters and foreign diplomats.
      Powell said the photos prove Syrian president Bashar Assad acted as a body double for both Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.
      He produced a tape recording of a conversation between Osama bin Laden and Bashar Assad. It revealed that Bashar Assad was planning to be the 20th hijacker, but bin Laden said he would better serve the cause by oppressing the people of Syria.
      Powell played a portion of the tape over and over.
      Assad: "Please."
      Bin Laden: "No."
      Assad: "Please."
      Bin Laden: "I said no."
      Assad: "But I want to."
      Bin Laden: "What part of no don't you understand?"
      Powell said the tape was recently found underneath a stack of propaganda leaflets in a backroom at the CIA office in Afghanistan.
      "They said it was temporarily lost, and because it was mislabeled as a Dixie Chicks tape they had not listened to it until finding it last week," he explained.
      The recording was secretly but legally taped in August of 2001, under provisions of the USA PATRIOT act, passed in September 2001, Powell said.
      Powell also produced a video of Bashar Assad torturing captives. The picture was blurred, but Powell that it is indeed Assad, and not a clip from the TV show The Agency co-starring David Glennon, who looks a bit like Assad.
      Powell said the tape was scheduled to run on all TV networks 1000 times a day until the public supports a war to liberate the people of Syria.
      The final and most damning piece of evidence, according to Powell, was a box cutter recovered from the World Trade Center wreckage. Powell said it has a sticker marked "Made in Syria" and an inscription that reads "Have fun killing Americans and may Allah be with you, your pal Bashar Assad, Dictator of Syria."
      Some analysts think it strange that the inscription is written in English, but Powell suggested it was obvious that it was meant to be found.
      Powell also said there was "incontrovertible evidence Syria possesses weapons of mass destruction."
      He said President Bush planned to give a televised address, telling the American people "Bashar Assad has weapons of mass destruction that he could give to his buddy Osama bin Laden, who will use them against our homeland."
      "Syria is running out of time," Powell said.