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VIETNAM WAR DODGERS HOLD REUNION Many Who Avoided Service Now Want War Washington, D.C. - (GNS) - Hundreds of men who avoided service in the U.S. Armed Forces during the Vietnam War held a reunion at the Washington Monument yesterday to call for war with Iraq "and maybe others". Most are in positions in government or the media to help make or influence the decision to go to war. Attendees included President George W. Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney, TV Commentator Brit Hume, Perenial Presidential Preacher Alan Keyes, Radio Commentator Rush Limbaugh, Radio Commentator Michael Reagan, Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham, Fiction Writer Ken Adelman, State Dept. official John Bolton, Presidential Advisor Andrew Card, and Commerce Secretary Don Evans. Also among the group were U.S. Bureaucrats Richard Perle and Harvey Pitt, former Economic Advisor and self-confessed Fabricator David Stockman, former Governor and Cabinet Officer Tommy Thompson, Drug Czar John Walters, War Dept. official Paul Wolfowitz, and Grand Inquisitor John Ashcroft. "We want the war and we want it... Now!" was one of the chants the group shouted. Also in attendance were Solicitor General Ted Olson, U.S. Justice Arthur Kennedy, Associate Justice Antonin Scalia, Prosecutor Ken Starr, Justice Clarence Thomas, former Governor Lamar Alexander, US House Representative Bob Bar (R-Ga.), US House Representative Roscoe Bartlett (R-Md.), Right-wing Fundamentalist Religious "Family Values" Organizer Gary Bauer, US House Representative Roy Blunt, Gov. Jeb Bush, US House Representative Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.), Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), US House Representative Tom DeLay (R-Tx.) and Gov. John Engler. "Hey hey, Dubya Bush, let's go kick 'em in the tush!" was another chant the men without service records shouted. Additional attendees included former US House leader Newt Gingrich, former Mayor Rudy Giuliani, Senator Phil Gramm (R-Tx.), U.S. House leader Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), Sen. Tim Hutchinson, Gov. Frank Keating, former US House Representative Jack Kemp, Sen. Joe Lieberman (R-Conn.), Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.), Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), Sen. Don Nickles (R-Okla.), former Vice President Dan Quayle, Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.), US House Representative Mark Souder (R-Ind.), and GOP Strategist and TV Commentator Roger Ailes. "One, two, three, four, we all want your fuckin' war!" the crowd chanted, with the exception of Gary Bauer, who said "blessed" instead of "fuckin'". Other dodgers and avoiders attending included Right-Wing Conspiracy Fantacist and Christian Zealot Ann Coulter, Boilerplate Novelist Tom Clancy, News Mogul Steve Forbes, one-hit wonder Lee Greenwood, TV Commentator Sean Hannity, Syndicated Propagandists Charles Krauthammer and William Kristol, "Family Values" Movie Critic Michael Medved, TV Commentator Bill O'Reilly, Verbal Assassin P.J. O'Rourke, Hollywood Vietnam War Hero Sylvester Stallone, Monotonist Ben Stein, Propagandist George Will, Satirist Bill Bennett, NRA President Wayne LaPierre, Self-Righteous Derivative Guitarist & No Hit Wonder Ted Nugent, and Presidential Advisor Karl Rove. The opening prayer and the closing benediction were delivered by two men who avoided service during the Korean War, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. "War, what is it good for? Huh! All of our Careers! Good God, y'all, say it again now. War, what is it good for? Huh! All of our Careers!" the group chanted before they shared a moment of silence for WWII avoider John Wayne and Korean War avoider Roy Cohn. After the rally the group marched to the Capitol as The We're Not Veterans Of Foreign Wars and demanded that Congress "get this war going now." |
