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Rumsfeld (Steve Zahn) strangles Powell (Martin Lawrence) in comedy about the battle between the War Department and the State Department

"Depiction Of Battle Between War and State Not Appropriate At This Time"
Hollywould, CA - (GNS)
- Filming of the big budget, high concept dark comedy "The Warrior And The Geek" was halted yesterday after a phone call from an Undisclosed Location.
     According to sources working on the Martin Lawrence movie, Vice President Cheney told producers that "any depiction of the battle between Rumsfeld and Powell for how post-war Iraq would be divided up was not appropriate at this time."
     "You must stop this now, for national security reasons," Cheney reportedly told the film producers.
     "At stake is the governance of post-war Iraq," according to Columbia University professor of Post-War Governance Hank Wolfwhiz. "In order to ensure the beginnings of a democratic culture there we must restrict free speech and certain commerce here in the homeland."
     "This interference goes way beyond trying to censor anti-war statements at the Oscars," said film producer Peter Zenger.
     Zenger was scheduled to be blacklisted later this month, according to the Hollywood Complicity Guild.
     Although carefully guarded, portions of the film script have been leaked. One plotline depicts the CIA allying with Powell and the FBI and Homeland Security allying with Rumsfeld. Another depicts Powell settling for the poppy fields in exchange for Cheney getting the oil. And during the third act climax Rumsfeld is tried by the World Court for War Crimes and argues strongly that his never having been in the military, especially during Vietnam, should mitigate his sentence, whereas Powell, who was part of the My Lai cover-up is "guilty, guilty, guilty".
     Meanwhile, in a reference to Dr. Doolittle, Powell teaches the Iraqis to sing "It's A Small World After All" and addresses the UN with "evidence that will prove a connection between Al Qaeda and the KKK."
     Observers suggest that the administration has tried to downplay the fight between Rumsfeld and Powell but that this action will only serve to heighten focus on it.
     "Perhaps that's Cheney's intent," said Richard Third, a Political Science professor at the University of Virginia.
     "While some see this whole conflict as New Testament versus the Koran, it is more accurate to interpret it as Shakespeare versus Ali Baba & The Forty Thieves," Third said. "It is much more Shakespearian for two of the King's top ministers to be fighting over the governance of a conquered country."
     "And if we think of Cheney as the man who believes his destiny is to rule, what better way than to set his opponents against each other?" Third said.
     Presidential Press Secretary Ari Flyspeck denounced Third's comments as unpatriotic.
     "Don and Colin are great friends. They golf. This is not Shakespeare. The president doesn't read Shakespeare," Flyspeck said.
     Flyspeck confirmed that Cheney read Shakespeare "in his youth, before he knew better."
     The Office of Homeland Security confirmed that they will investigate Shakespeare as soon as they have finished prosecuting Zenger.